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Tag: Flight

Travel Journal, 30

Earbuds Out, Smiles On

Entertainment screens on the back of airplane seats are not a recent advent. My first experience with in-flight TVs were drop-down screens playing one, perhaps two films during the flight. This luxury came only to those willing to fork out absurd amounts of money for the accompanying headset. Now, most major airlines in the US have loads of in-flight entertainment. One major airline boasts over 3000 titles from which to choose.

And yet, on every flight longer than three hours, I can look over at my wife’s screen and see that she is watching the same movie she always watches on long flights, The Sound of Music. And I’m not much better. On flights longer than 6 hours, I gravitate toward Dances with Wolves. With new movies released monthly and tons of other options, you’d think we would branch out. But alas, no.

I so easily become engrossed with my movie that it can be easy to forget the goings on and the everyday business of the flight operations: passengers filtering in, pre-flight announcements, those safety messages that keep getting trendier, and finally, the beverage and snack service. I’m usually deep into my movie by then and forget to press pause on the screen. I fumble with my headphones and struggle to get the tray table down. I look at the attendant and they look back. I ask for what I always ask for: black coffee. I repeat myself because nobody can hear anything. Then, with coffee in hand, I get back to Lieutenant John Dunbar and his heartwarming efforts to understand the Lakota culture.

But some people aren’t so fortunate and forget to stay awake for the service. Or maybe they’re not paying attention at all. I was three rows back from a gentleman who did just that. I watched with interest as the attendant tried to get his attention and take his order. He could not be pried from the screen. She moved onto the next row. And as soon as she reached it, the guy awoke from his stupor and flung his arm back to try and catch her. Consequently, he grazed her with a backhand. She turned and agitatedly took his order. I could hear the attendant complain loudly to her coworker.

“Why don’t they just pay attention? They know that we are coming!”

On and on she went. When the attendant got to me, I tried as hard as I could to smile and cheer her up. I asked how her day went and she told me in no uncertain terms that the guy three rows up had hit her. She was clearly not having a good day before that, but this was the nail in the coffin—and we still had 11 hours.

If there is one thing to remember about a flight, it’s that the attendants work hard and it does not feel good to be ignored. You never know what kind of day somebody is having.

I’ve made it a point since that incident to be ready for my attendants, earbuds out and smiles on.

anthony forrest

Travel Journal, 9

Foreign Bathroom Series

Chapter Two: The Lav

A dull hum roars in the back of my skull. Has it always been there? It must have a beginning. I can no longer remember what it is like in the outside world. But the passing of time is very apparent. Ah, I remember now. The droning began when our flight lifted off in Atlanta.

I’m on a plane.

Slowly I peel my eye mask away from my travel worn face. It feels like I’m removing a rejected skin graft. As my eyes come into focus, I look around. This must be what 14th century England looked like. What disease has taken hold of these flying peasants? Twelve hours ago, we all boarded with such high hopes. Smiling faces anticipated adventure. Small families settled and tucked into in-flight entertainment. The meal service stoked the fires of happiness and several opportunities for drinks and snacks have since come and gone. But now the romance has worn off.

As I look around this refugee camp, it hits me: I have to pee.

Holding it is not an option on a 17-hour flight. So, I untangle myself from the tissue-thin plane-blanket, replace my tray table, and begin the journey up the aisle.

When I fly, one of the first things I do is take off my shoes. My feet swell while flying and I hate to wear my shoes for so long. I opened the door to the bathroom (lavatory or lav). The garbage overflowed. Toilet paper lay strewn everywhere. And the little sink was filled with a residue of some scummy liquid. An airplane lav is disgusting at the beginning of a flight. But 12 hours in? You’d better be on a prophylactic antibiotic.

I stepped in to get to business and quickly realized that I was not wearing my shoes. Immediately my feet were soaked.

Water? I will never know. But deep down, I know the truth.

And I’ve learned my lesson:

Going to the airplane bathroom in solely one’s stocking feet is fraught with consequences.

anthony forrest

 

 

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